Translating the Movie...

Okay, I'll try the scar scene from the first movie.

Liz: So is there truth to any of the stories then?
Translation: Or am I just stuck here with a gay cracker?

Jack: Truth?
Translation: Psh, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. You can't handle me.

(shows her his sparrow tattoo)
Translation: Notice the muscle on the forearms there, love

(shows her his pirate brand)
Translation: I bet gay crackers don't wind up with THESE

(shows her the scars on his chest)
Translation: But all are still working parts, I assure you

(Liz reacts to them)
Translation: I've got some working parts, too

Jack: No truth at all
Translation: Now that I meet your criteria, what say we do it in the ocean, huh?

YAYAYAYAY!!!!! that was so great. 😄

Lovethemtigers, i also loved the line about lizzie wanting to throw the wedding dress into the ocean and watch it sink. LOL.

From the first scene in 2:

Beckett: Governor Weatherby Swann, it's been too long.
Translation: You look terrible. You don't age well at ALL.

Swann: Cutler Beckett?
Translation: That eunuch with the bad wig? When did he turn into Napoleon?

Beckett: It's Lord now, actually.
Translation: I slept my way to the top, and I'm proud of it.

Swann: You have no authority arresting this man!
Translation: Just because you get a crush on a cute guy doesn't mean you can just arrest him and lock him up for your pleasure.

Beckett: Oh in fact I do. Mister Mercer, the warrent for the arrest of Mr William Turner.
Translation: See this guy Mercer? He used to run the Italian mafia. Any more questions?

Swann: This warrent is for the arrest of Elizabeth Swann.
Translation: Is this supposed to mean you're straight?

Beckett: Oh that's annoying. My mistake. Arrest her.
Translation: Not quite straight, but she is absolutely falling out of that dress in the front. And she needs some hair tips.

Liz: On what charges??!
Translation: I am NOT watching queer eye with you.

WIll: No!
Translation: And I thought Jack was short... I could step on this man, if I weren't wearing this table-cloth jacket.

Beckett: Ah-ha! Here's the one for William Turner. And I have another for a Mr. James Norrington. Is he present?
Translation: I am having the hardest time keeping a straight face while he wears that table-cloth jacket. When did turqouise come back? And I could have sworn I smelled Norrington's overpowering cologne...

Liz: What are the charges?!
Translation: Is this about that anti-gay protest I attended?

Swann: Commodore Norrington resigned his commission some months ago.
Translation: I had to fire him for drinking on the job.

Beckett: I don't believe that was the answer to the question I asked...
Translation: Oh my gosh, I think Liz was the girl at that anti-gay protest. That's it, she's going down.

Will: Lord Beckett, in the category of questions not answered...
Translation: Oh my gosh, I think he was the guy at that gay bar last week.

Liz: We are under the jurisdiction of the Governor of Port Royal and You will tell us what we are charged with.
Translation: Daddy, save me from the ugly short man!

Gov. Swann reads the charge (which i dont remember lol)

Beckett: For which the punishment, regrettably, is also death.
Translation: Am I making it too obvious that I'm a sadist?

Beckett: perhaps you remember a certain pirate called Jack Sparrow.
Translation: Cause I dream of him every night...

Will and Liz: Captain!
Translation: Captain Sexy Sparrow!

Liz: Captain Jack Sparrow!
Translation: Captain Sexy beast come to me Sparrow!

Beckett: Yes I thought you might...
Translation: Oh they've definately had a threesome.

Jack: Gentlemen, what do keys do?
Translation: When a man and woman love each other very much...

Pirate: Keys unlock things?
Translation: Uh, does this have to do with the stork?

Gibbs: And whatever this key unlocks, inside there's something valuble. So we're setting out to find what this key unlocks!
Translation: Why do I get the feeling Jack is after a girl? Why doesnt the crew ever get girls? I actually clean up nicely.

Jack: NO. If we don't have the key, we cant open whatever it is we dont have that it unlocks. So why would we find whatever it is it unlocks, which we dont have, without first finding the key what unlocks it?
Translation: It usually goes like this. Locate girl. Tie her up. Dance around her with fruit on my head. Break out the castinets. Girl falls hard. We have a bit of fun. Girl gets left at Tortuga.

Gibbs: So we're going after this key?
Translation: Is it wrong that I sometimes get turned on when he is confusing?

Jack: You're not making any sense at all. Any more questions?
Translation: It's hard being the sexiest pirate in the Caribbean. I hate breaking the hearts of those around me...

Short pirate: So, do we have a heading?
Translation: I wish my hair looked like Jacks. Oh wait...

Jack: Ah! Set sail in a general... uh... that way direction...
Translation: Take me to Elizabeth ASAP. Oh bugger- i mean, take me far away from her...

hee hee, Kate you are dirty.

(sword fight in first movie)

Jack: Who makes all these?
Translation: ha ha, distract him and gut him and hang him on my wall

Will: I do, and I practice with them 3 hours a day!
Translation: It's G-rated masterbation!

Jack: You need to get yourself a girl, mate
Translation: Don't think I don't know what you're compensating for

Jack: Or maybe you already do
Translation: As long as it's not the hot chick I saved.

(later in jail)

Will: They've taken Ms. Swann!
Translation: And I'm hungry! and thirsty! Change me!

Jack (thinking): damn, it is the hot chick from before.

HAHAHAHA that was FABULOUS. 🙂 Yay!

Originally posted by willofthewisp
hee hee, Kate you are dirty.

(sword fight in first movie)

Jack: Who makes all these?
Translation: ha ha, distract him and gut him and hang him on my wall

Will: I do, and I practice with them 3 hours a day!
Translation: It's G-rated masterbation!

Jack: You need to get yourself a girl, mate
Translation: Don't think I don't know what you're compensating for

Jack: Or maybe you already do
Translation: As long as it's not the hot chick I saved.

(later in jail)

Will: They've taken Ms. Swann!
Translation: And I'm hungry! and thirsty! Change me!

Jack (thinking): damn, it is the hot chick from before.

Lmao...G-rated masturbation.... 😆 😆 😆

What scenes are left??

the one, after jack saved her from drowning, or?

Will: Why is Jack afraid of the open ocean?
Translation: What is Jack's weakness? I'll need to know that eventually.

Gibbs: Well, if you believe such things, there's a beast that does the bidding of Davy Jones. A fearsome creature with giant tentacles that will suction your face clean off, and drag an entire ship down to the crushing darkness. The kraken!
Translation: Well, if you believe such things, there's a creature that completely confounds and confuses Jack... a fearsome creature with secret weapons, scary body parts, that can keep a man captive for the rest of his life. A woman!

(Gibbs says something else about the Kraken)

Will: And the key will spare him that?
Translation: Jack is afraid of marriage? Hahaha... that's pathetic.

Gibbs: Well that's the very question Jack wants answered. Bad enough to visit HER.
Translation: He's seeing a counselor about it. He's trying to work through those commitment issues.

Will: Her?
Translation: Woah, where did my British accent just go?

Gibbs: Aye her.
Translation: That was quite a hard "R" for a british chap.

Jack: No worries mate. Tia Dalma and I go way back. Thick as thieves. Nigh inseperable we are... were... have been... before...
Translation: Okay guys, I'm going to be honest with you. This woman might kill us all. I left her in the middle of a naked twister game- and took all her favorite jewelry.

Gibbs: I'll watch your back.
Translation: I'm scared. You go first.

Jack: It's me front I'm worried about. Mind the boat.
Translation: my back? a true friend stabs you in the front. Just make sure the getaway car is ready for a quick exit.

Scene 4: (The daring rescue and escape)

Jack : [in boat with guards] ?and then they made me their chief.
Translation: Oh no wait! ... thats the second movie, sorry lads...

Norrington: Elizabeth ? Elizabeth ! My God.[makes to jump in after her]
Translation: Oooh what a dilemma! To get the wig wet; or not to get the wig wet...what a kufuffel!

Gillette : [stops him] The rocks! Sir, it?s a miracle she missed them.
Translation: Shes a lucky son of a b***h!

Jack : Will you be saving her then?
Translation: Because i can't be assed

Mullroy: I can't swim.
Translation: I left my water wings at home....

Jack : [glances at Murtogg who stares back at him] Pride of the King?s Navy you are. [hands the guards his effects] Do not lose these. [dives in to save her]
Translation: I had better get something rewarding out of this!

Murtogg: [the medallion calls to the Black Pearl ] What was that?
Translation: ...I give me the wiggins....

Mullroy:[helps Jack with Elizabeth ] Ooh, I got her. She's not breathing!
Translation: I've ALWAYS wanted to do mouth-to-mouth when they taught us first aid!!

Jack : Move! [shoves him aside, cuts open corset and Elizabeth spits out water and gasps for breath]
Translation:I never thought she would be that easy...

Mullroy: Never would've thought of that.
Translation: Whoa..he just gets right down to it, doesnt he? ..Maybe i should try it....I might actually get laid...

Jack : Clearly you've never been to Singapore .
Translation: .... Yeah...lets not go there....

Jack:[sees medallion, to Elizabeth ] Where did you get that?
Translation: You might think im looking at the medallion...but at the moment im more intregued by your mosquito bites....(no offence meant!)

Norrington: [to Jack , pointing his sword at him] On your feet.
Translation: One day those mosquito bites will be Juicy, juicy mango's! You just watch!

Governor Swann : [helps Elizabeth up] Elizabeth . Are you alright?
Translation: Pay no attention to those dirty minded Perverts...but i did try to help with the courset!

Elizabeth : Yes, I'm fine.
Translation: And they're more like speed bumps that mango's, thankyou very much!

Governor Swann : [sees Murtogg holding Elizabeth 's corset; Murtogg points at Jack ; Swann looks over at Jack ] Shoot him!
Translation: undressing my daughter infront of her soon-to-be fiancee! ... can you not see how turned on he is?!

Elizabeth : Father! Commodore, do you really intend to kill my rescuer?
Translation: ...but he looks so good when he's wet...

Norrington: I believe thanks are in order.
Translation: Yeah...thanks...for rescuing my son-to-be-fiancee and making me look like a tosser for getting there first!

Norrington:[offers his hand to shake; reveals ?P? for pirate]
Translation: Right...let me think....A is for Anarchist...B is for Bigamist...C if for Cu-
AH! got it!

Norrington: Had a brush with the East India Trading company, did we, pirate?
Translation: ...I hope to god ive got it right...

Governor Swann : Hang him.
Translation: Or whatever...I don't care alsong as the smell is taken from my presence...

Norrington: Keep your guns on him, men. Gillette , fetch some irons.
Translation: Oooh...Bondage...

Norrington:[sees tattoo of a sparrow in flight]
Translation: Is it a bird?...Is it a plane??...No its-

Norrington: Jack Sparrow , isn?t it?
Translation: I'm gonna look so stupid if this is wrong...

Jack : Captain Jack Sparrow , if you please, sir.
Translation:God your wig is ridiculous...

Norrington: Well, I don't see your ship? Captain.
Translation: And even if i did i wouldnt tell you! Ner-ner!

Jack : I'm in the market as it were.
Translation: Im also in the market for a lovely half-naked woman [looks at elizabeth]...its better when they're half naked....it takes half the time to get them undressed....

Murtogg: He said he'd come to commandeer one.
Translation: He can commandeer me any time...

Mullroy: Told ya he was telling the truth. These are his, sir. [hands him Jack's effects]
Translation: Thats it...im out of a job now until the end of the movie...

Norrington: No additional shots nor powder.
Translation: ..Hes shooting blanks...

Norrington:A compass that doesn't point north.
Translation: I'm just thankful it isnt pointing at me...

Norrington: [unsheathes sword] And I half expected it to be made of wood.
Translation: Yes...thats what i need...a nice bit of wood...

Norrington:You are without doubt the worst pirate I've ever heard of.
Translation:...but you are rather dashing...

Jack : But you have heard of me. [is pulled along to be put in chains]
Translation: Oooh! Star status!!!!

Elizabeth : Commodore, I really must protest.
Translation: My clothes are becomming more see-through and my nipples may start showing!

Norrington: Carefully, Lieutenant.
Translation: dont look at her nipples!...it'll be the death of any man!

Elizabeth : Pirate or not this man saved my life.
Translation: Pirate...bad ass, sexy, tanned and exciting pirate...oooh, i have to stop thinking like that or my nipples WILL start showing!

Norrington: One good deed is not enough to redeem a man of a lifetime of wickedness.
Translation: Well...it is, but after the way YOU just pointed your nipples in his general direction, im going to have to kill him!

Jack : Though it seems enough to condemn him.
Translation: Nipples?

Norrington: Indeed. [ Gillette moves away from Jack ]
Translation: Yes...nipples!

Jack : Finally. [throws his irons around Elizabeth's neck]
Translation: A chance to see those nipples thathave been talked about so much!

Governor Swann : No, don't shoot!
Translation: And STOP talking about nipples!

Jack : I knew you'd warm up to me.
Translation: ...Like puttie in my hands....

Jack:Commodore Norrington, my effects, please, and my hat. Commodore! Elizabeth . It is Elizabeth isn?t it?
Translation: just making sure... Its not the first time i've said the wrong name when in a passionate moment....

Elizabeth : It's Miss Swann .
Translation: Or minx, kitten, love bug...whatever! Just take me!

Jack : Miss Swann , if you'd be so kind. Come, come, dear. We don?t have all day.
Translation: Well..usually we would but this time we'll have to skip the foreplay, im afraid...

Jack: Now if you'd be very kind. [she straps on his sword, puts on his hat, etc.] Easy on the goods, darling.
Translation: And no...that is NOT my 'wooden' sword poking you...

Elizabeth : You're despicable.
Translation: Just take me!

Jack : Sticks and stones, love. I saved your life, you save mine, we're square.
Translation: Your place or mine?

Jack:Gentlemen, m'lady, you will always remember this as the day that you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow!
Translation: ...You'll have other days, but this isnt a good one for me...things to see, people to do...

omg ....it's great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love it!!!!!!!!!!

T. Maria.

I dont know what to say.

I am HONESTLY getting laugh wrinkles on my face.

I am speechless.

it was like, beyond funny. beyond hilarious. sort of Iconic humor. the kind of thing that will have me laughing the rest of my life. I will now no longer be able to hear the word nipples. you are flipping genius. slightly scandalous, but terribly funny.

i LOVED the minx, kitten, love-bug line.

i LOVED all of it. i seriously dont even know what to say.

why dont you just continue????

Originally posted by katelovespirate
T. Maria.

I dont know what to say.

I am HONESTLY getting laugh wrinkles on my face.

I am speechless.

it was like, beyond funny. beyond hilarious. sort of Iconic humor. the kind of thing that will have me laughing the rest of my life. I will now no longer be able to hear the word nipples. you are flipping genius. slightly scandalous, but terribly funny.

i LOVED the minx, kitten, love-bug line.

i LOVED all of it. i seriously dont even know what to say.

why dont you just continue????

Awww shucks !! 😮

everyone is doing a brilliant job with this! 💃

Kate, yours are HILARIOUS!

"Jack: No worries mate. Tia Dalma and I go way back. Thick as thieves. Nigh inseperable we are... were... have been... before...
Translation: Okay guys, I'm going to be honest with you. This woman might kill us all. I left her in the middle of a naked twister game- and took all her favorite jewelry.

Gibbs: I'll watch your back.
Translation: I'm scared. You go first.

Jack: It's me front I'm worried about. Mind the boat.
Translation: my back? a true friend stabs you in the front. Just make sure the getaway car is ready for a quick exit."

^^^^ i was literally P***ING myself with laughter there!! 😆 😆 😆 😆 you have the kind of comedy that makes me do one of them irritating laughs that people want to hit me for lol 😱

We need to send this to Terry and ted!!! 😄

Whats next?? 😂

Tia: Jack Sparrow!
Translation: Not this guy again. He robs me blind.

Jack: Tia Dalma!
Translation: Act charming, that's it......EYEBALL JAR! Stay calm.

Tia: I always knew the wind would blow you back to my door (something like that)
Translation: And you brought the crew....orgy!

Tia: (to Will) You. You have a touch of destiny, William Turner
Translation: ha ha, everyone analyzes this line, but it's only because I screwed your dad and you're the spitting image of him. Deducing...

Will: You know me?
Translation: Oh man, those teeth.

Tia: You want to know me?
Translation: Your dad certainly did.

Jack: There'll be no knowing anyone. We came for help and we're not leaving without it. I thought I knew you.
Translation: We don't have time for this....did she just say she prefers the welp over me?

hahahahahahaha willofthewisp you are soo good at these!

Will: [watches as Jack closes the compass] How is it that Jack came by that compass?

Translation: Why can’t I have one like that? (stamping foot)

Gibbs: Not a lot's known about Jack Sparrow before he showed up in Tortuga.

Translation: If I knew, my boy, don’t you reckon I’d ave got one for meself by now?!!
.

Will: How did Jack get off the island?

Translation: Let’s see how dumb they think I am, really.

Gibbs: Well, I'll tell ye. He roped himself a couple of sea turtles, lashed 'em together and made a raft.

Translation: Let’s see how dumb the whelp is, really.

Will: He roped a couple of sea turtles?

Gibbs: Aye, sea turtles.

Will: What did he use for rope?

Gibbs looks embarrassed.

Translation: Yikes! The whelp isn’t as dumb as he looks!

Jack: [coming up] Human hair...from my back.

Translation: No, he’s a lot dumber!

Beckett: Yes I thought you might...
Translation: Oh they've definately had a threesome.

^HILARIOUS! I love this thread, it's great!

T Maria, that's just too, too good!!! 😂 You ROCK!!! That nipples part just about killed me, hahahaha.

Will: [watches as Jack closes the compass] How is it that Jack came by that compass?

Translation: Why can’t I have one like that? (stamping foot)

^^^ Yoho, this line made me giggle like a little girl!!! 🙂

Tia: (to Will) You. You have a touch of destiny, William Turner
Translation: ha ha, everyone analyzes this line, but it's only because I screwed your dad and you're the spitting image of him. Deducing...

^^^ LMAO! Now wouldn't it be FAF is THIS WAS TRUE!! 🙂
nice one, Willofthewisp!!!!

Jack: Do you think this wise, boy? Crossing blades with a pirate?

Translation: You might get your sword lopped off, you know!

Will: You threatened Miss Swann.

Translation: Doesn’t matter! I’m a eunuch anyway.

Jack: Only a little.

Translation: Oh in that case, no worries!