The Unforgivable Diaries Of DMC!

Started by T.Maria37 pages

Orlando

Day 60

dear nobody

SWEET BABY JESUS AND THE ORPHANS!

...i never realised they had a sex life already!!!!

First base? Sure

Second base? Whats that?

Third base?! NEVER!!

...lucky b @ $ t @ a r d $!!!!!

LMAO!!!!

Jack D

day 60

dear norrie

My beloved forgave me for my 'terrible wrong doing' ... apparently having a social life outside my trailor is a big 'no no'....

she put the sheep back in her play pen with her annoying little bleeping children and then told me gladys would need a 30 minute walk when i got back from filming...apparently my true love would be too busy shopping with my platinum card...

and they say romance is dead...

Speaking of romance...i get the morning newspaper today and BLESS MY PLATINUM GOLD SOUL!

The paparazzi have only got a whiff of the sordid affair between keira and johnny!!!!

apparently according to Ryan seacrest the source wanted to remain anonymous... but also stated that Orlando was the culprit of the allegations...

...do you feel that?
Its the feeling of impending doom...

u know guys im really touched that yur still following this!! 😄

i thought it would have ran out of steam by now lol!! 😄

yes! shopping woot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...do you accept, credit card? ka ching! lol

Johnny

day 62

Dear Ichy

After pleading none stop for 2 days Vanessa has finally seen sense...

After reading the stupid bloody newspaper report the otherday she rang me up to tell me she never wanted to see me again....but fortunately due to my great persuasion and the fact that we all know orlando is a complete and utter Dunce she allowed to to explain and then suddenly it became quite clear that at that moment in time we would both like nothing more than to strangle the whelp...

...who by the way is in hiding!

Keira is STILL on the yacht...though the matter of her moving out has come up since all this happened because apparently she feels like shes going to be on the recieving end of a very good talking to when Vanessa and the kids come to stay...

Shes not though, because both my girl and the kids happen to love her...in small doses anyway.

She said she might go and live in with orlando...and then kill him and steal his trailor...which makes me wonder if that was her plan for me all along...

i suggested asking jack, but apparently if another woman steps within a 200 meter radius of the trailor then a very angry sheep chases them away...

Jack said its a defense mechanism but we all know hes just the b!tch of the relationship...

Now then...as soon as i find the barb-wire and the spatula im on my way round to orlando's trailor....

Originally posted by T.Maria
u know guys im really touched that yur still following this!! 😄

i thought it would have ran out of steam by now lol!! 😄

this could never run out of steam!!
lol-you are the best!!

😂 great t. maria!!

LMAO at sailor!! 😄

You well know you will spend ALLLLLL of his money 🙂 hehe!

but thats what it is there for, right???? hehehe!!

someone should start a diary of the actual characters from DMC...now THAT would be funny!!!!

😄

P.S - Moviejunkie and Johnnyforever: THANKYOU SO MUCH!!! 😄

It makes me love writing this lol 🙂

Originally posted by T.Maria
someone should start a diary of the actual characters from DMC...now THAT would be funny!!!!

😄

Good Idea! And what do you mean someone? YOU'RE THE BEST! unless you don't want to. 🙂

Originally posted by T.Maria
LMAO at sailor!! 😄

You well know you will spend ALLLLLL of his money 🙂 hehe!

but thats what it is there for, right???? hehehe!!

i know dude totally, infact i'll prbably max it out a starbucks! lol

omg! im gonna do one!

yeah you should!! you'd be great!!

Day whatever the heck it is....

Dear norrie-baby

Ah ha! I found it! the holy grail of information, no not the script to AWE but in fact my beloved's diary...He's so sweet, he writes such nice thigns about me, not such much my sheep. I don't understand why, they're so cute. I don not appreciate how everyone keeps refering them as sunday's brunch and tuesday's dinner. Poor dearies.

On other news I finally convinced the casting directer to give me a part in the movie. It's a minor role....well.....really minor. I play wench number five. Woo hoo! I get to share screen time with Jack-y-poo! Although I was almost fired when I kept knocking out Keira Knightly with a prop chair.....what..?....Oh SHE HAD IT COMING! No one, I repeat, NO ONE knocks out my Jacky-poo with a rum bottle but ME! Stupid B****!

PS....Those makeup girls can do wonders.....You'd never tell that I bloodied u p the whore!

PPS: I caught Orli in the midsts of another man's arms....a man with trashy highlights.....Upon closer inspection I marked the man as Ryan Seacrest...hmmm...wierd...oh well, of to the tabloids I go, after I make a starbucks run...

~Toodles~

no one's said anything 🙁

im reading them! sry im on kinda late now i have dinner hold on...

yeah i'm late too.

i was reading all of the DMC Bloopers you made T. Maria! SOO FUNNY!!

Originally posted by sailorleo
Day whatever the heck it is....

Dear norrie-baby

Ah ha! I found it! the holy grail of information, no not the script to AWE but in fact my beloved's diary...He's so sweet, he writes such nice thigns about me, not such much my sheep. I don't understand why, they're so cute. I don not appreciate how everyone keeps refering them as sunday's brunch and tuesday's dinner. Poor dearies.

On other news I finally convinced the casting directer to give me a part in the movie. It's a minor role....well.....really minor. I play wench number five. Woo hoo! I get to share screen time with Jack-y-poo! Although I was almost fired when I kept knocking out Keira Knightly with a prop chair.....what..?....Oh SHE HAD IT COMING! No one, I repeat, NO ONE knocks out my Jacky-poo with a rum bottle but ME! Stupid B****!

PS....Those makeup girls can do wonders.....You'd never tell that I bloodied u p the whore!

PPS: I caught Orli in the midsts of another man's arms....a man with trashy highlights.....Upon closer inspection I marked the man as Ryan Seacrest...hmmm...wierd...oh well, of to the tabloids I go, after I make a starbucks run...

~Toodles~

😂 funny!! oh and, ONLY I CAN CALL HIM JACKY-POO!! it was my idea!!

sorry. jk...

Originally posted by sailorleo
Day whatever the heck it is....

Dear norrie-baby

Ah ha! I found it! the holy grail of information, no not the script to AWE but in fact my beloved's diary...He's so sweet, he writes such nice thigns about me, not such much my sheep. I don't understand why, they're so cute. I don not appreciate how everyone keeps refering them as sunday's brunch and tuesday's dinner. Poor dearies.

On other news I finally convinced the casting directer to give me a part in the movie. It's a minor role....well.....really minor. I play wench number five. Woo hoo! I get to share screen time with Jack-y-poo! Although I was almost fired when I kept knocking out Keira Knightly with a prop chair.....what..?....Oh SHE HAD IT COMING! No one, I repeat, NO ONE knocks out my Jacky-poo with a rum bottle but ME! Stupid B****!

PS....Those makeup girls can do wonders.....You'd never tell that I bloodied u p the whore!

PPS: I caught Orli in the midsts of another man's arms....a man with trashy highlights.....Upon closer inspection I marked the man as Ryan Seacrest...hmmm...wierd...oh well, of to the tabloids I go, after I make a starbucks run...

~Toodles~

lol goood keep them coming!!!!

T.Maria i like yours to i like the she says she's going to kill himand then steal his trailer which makes me wonder if that was her plan all along... rofl!