Jack Bauer runs the Die Hard Gauntlet

I see how a near-fatal overdose of McBias can cloud one's judgement to see "evidence that outright shows Bauer dominates McClane in every aspect of life" as "strawman-bashing". It's okay. I know if you were in a logical, non-McPoisoned state of mind, you'd see this obvious logic, but sadly, you have too much McBias in you veins to realize your critical errors in logic. It's okay though. We all forgive you

More non sequitor. This thread isn't about McClane.

Thats right. Its about that guy who would never be able to survive the Die Hard movies, getting his ass thoroughly tazed then kicked and the re-tazed until dead by an elderly lady.

Originally posted by Robtard

The Diehard franchise isn't as forgiving; you made a fatal move in dropping Bauer in it. You should have picked something easier for him, like maybe 'Bauer Runs The Lethal Weapon Gauntlet" or "Bauer Vs The Care Bears".

You think that Bauer could beat the Care Bears...?
I'd hazard a guess that they would Care Bear Stare the living shit out of Bauer.

He'd also better hope that Taze-a-lot bear doesn't have any chargable personal defence equipment that night.

Zzzzaaaaaap....!

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Thats right. Its about that guy who would never be able to survive the Die Hard movies, getting his ass thoroughly tazed then kicked and the re-tazed until dead by an elderly lady.

I suspect he might have another heart-attack while being driven in the limo by Argyle.

"Don't you have any christmas mus-aaaarrrgggh" *clutches left arm*

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
You think that Bauer could beat the Care Bears...?
I'd hazard a guess that they would Care Bear Stare the living shit out of Bauer.

He'd also better hope that Taze-a-lot bear doesn't have any chargable personal defence equipment that night.

Zzzzaaaaaap....!

I'd give him 40-60 odds, since that was a show too and his feats would count there, which is better than the 0.000001% (to not be accused of being biased) chance he has in Diehard.

Ahhh I see.

Yeah thats true.
He has way more chance against them than LW too.
I dont think he would survive the whole of the 1st..
..remember the electrocutions that Endo gave Riggs?

No way does Bauer survive that if he cant take Tazer lady's output.

But since he call call on backup constantly in Rigg's role, (From partners, colleagues, the wife, etc etc) he should feel at home til then.

Good call on the electrocution, Bauer's heart would explode out of his chest in that scene. They were using voltage from the wall, right?

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
No way does Bauer survive that if he cant take Tazer lady's output.

YouTube video

Keep going on with your McBias. We understand your confusion. Just remember, you scoop inward to get to the applesauce 😂

Originally posted by Robtard
Good call on the electrocution, Bauer's heart would explode out of his chest in that scene. They were using voltage from the wall, right?

Indeed. Good old mains.

That's right. Ignore the feat I just posted. Embrace your McBias 👀

Since it doesnt count here, ignoring it is a natural thing to do.

Go on. Deny this and your journey to the Bauer Biased side will be complete.

And even if we could count it, the sum of McClane EU included, still annihilates Bauer's almost totally MVF EU total.

So Its McWin through and through.

Go on. Gimp Bauer's feats. You are so far into the McBiased side, you've lost your ability to reason

And no, even including video game feats, I already established that Bauer could easily have replicated McClanes Helicopter's shooting (and unimpressive car launch). Hell, Bauer doesn't even need another helicopter. He only needs a gun 🙂

Bauer effortlessly completes McClane's amateur Gauntlet and extirpates McClane in any confrontation whatsoever

🙄

"Nah you!!!!"

The sheer amount of carnage, death and destruction of just ONE game: PSX Die Hard Trilogy just by itself pwns all you could mention about Bauer.

Well McClane doesnt even need a gun. 🙂

"Bauer effortlessly completes McClane's amateur Gauntlet and extirpates McClane in any confrontation whatsoever" Words of total madness. As shown throughout every stage of this thread, there is little comparison. Bauer whacks off at night dreaming of being McClane, yet he lacks the ability to make it through a single movie gauntlet. Let alone 4 or 5 of them. 🙂

This is supported by the lack of 24 movies released.
The execs knew that all Bauer could have done (With tonnes of backing from his organisation) is retread McGround and action fans would be bored with yet another pale imitation.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
The sheer amount of carnage, death and destruction of just ONE game: PSX Die Hard Trilogy just by itself pwns all you could mention about Bauer.

Pretty sure he killed just as many in his video game, so McClane fails even in those regards 😂

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Well McClane doesnt even need a gun. 🙂

Which is why he can only kill harmless pilots 😂

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
there is little comparison.

Of course. McClane's retarded chump amateur common-thief terrorist-wannabes can not be compared at all to the existential threats to humanity Bauer takes on.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Bauer whacks off at night dreaming of being McClane,

Hell yes. I bet Bauer wishes every day and night he had opponents as retarded and amateurish as McClane's villains

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
yet he lacks the ability to make it through a single gauntlet.

😆 No. Bauer would laugh at McClane's chump villains for being the amateur wannabes that they are

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Let alone 4 or 5 of them. 🙂

Bauer's done eight of them (all against far deadlier opponent's than McClane's candy-ass common thief terrorist-wannabes)

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
This is supported by the lack of 24 movies released.
The execs knew that all Bauer could have done (With tonnes of backing from his organisation) is retread McGround and action fans would be bored with yet another pale imitation.

Originally posted by Lestov16
Pretty sure he killed just as many in his video game, so McClane fails even in those regards 😂

And im pretty sure you are wrong. 🙂

Which is why he can only kill harmless pilots 😂

Harmless ones, harmful ones, its all the same.

Of course. McClane's retarded chump amateur common-thief terrorist-wannabes can not be compared at all to the existential threats to humanity Bauer takes on with the safety net of constant on tap back up and help, unlike McClane the lone wolf..

Exceptional thiefs. A brag of Han's that is backed up by screen feats.

Hell yes. I bet Bauer wishes every day and night he had opponents as retarded and amateurish as McClane's villains

😆 No. Bauer would laugh at McClane's chump villains for being the amateur wannabes that they are

Bauer's done eight of them (all against far deadlier opponent's than McClane's candy-ass common thief terrorist-wannabes)

And nice pic. I did wonder what the biggest Bauer fan in the world looked like. Now we all can see.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
And im pretty sure you are wrong. 🙂

Well the burden of proof isn't on me to prove it 🙂

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Harmless ones, harmful ones, its all the same

😆

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Exceptional thiefs. A brag of Han's that is backed up by screen feats.

So exceptional that he makes the retarded amateur mistake of not conducting a pat-down? 😆 More BS Mcbiased Claims that can't be backed up

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
And that would be his mistake.

I guess he would be mistaken, because he'd still be massively overestimating them 😂

Stop ignoring that Bauer takes on existential threats whereas McClane struggles for 12 hours against wannabes 😆

Originally posted by Lestov16
[B]Well the burden of proof isn't on me to prove it 🙂

😆

So exceptional that he makes the retarded amateur mistake of not conducting a pat-down? 😆 More BS Mcbiased Claims that can't be backed up
[quote]
He wasnt when using Holly as hostage gonna let McClane witin range, due to McClane's lethality.
Another Bauer vitriol statement shot down from a sky of poop.

[quote]I guess he would be mistaken, because he'd still be massively overestimating them 😂

Stop ignoring that Bauer takes on existential threats whereas McClane struggles for 12 hours against wannabes 😆

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
And you've failed so far.

Sadly, I have failed at making you see obvious, simple logic. Clearly, an overdose of McBias has FUBARed your mind 🙁

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
He wasnt when using Holly as hostage gonna let McClane witin range, due to McClane's lethality.

😆 At least my "gun-jam" excuse is plausible. that just makes Hans sound like a retarded amatuer.....probably because he is one

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Another Bauer vitriol statement shot down from a sky of poop.

Sorry, but it's actually the McBias that disgustingly polluting the air

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
I guess he could have a nice long think about that when

.....he effortlessly clears McClane's amateur hour gauntlet, and doesn't have to take 12 hours at a time to do it 😆

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Your attempts to downplay Pentagon trained top dogs as poodles are doing more to disprove your evaluation than we dreamed. Keep it up.

Bauer's already sodomizes Commandos, Secret service, and national Russian security squads, so yeah, they would be poodles.