How do you know when you've walked into a lesbian bar?
Even the pool table doesn't have balls
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Why are camels called 'ships of the desert?
Because they're always full of Arab semen
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What's the difference between a black person and a monkey?
A monkey traveled into space first.
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If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000
rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes,
You may be a Muslim.
If you think vests come in two styles:
Bullet-proof and suicide.
You may be a Muslim
If you have nothing against women
and think every man should own at least four,
You may be a Muslim.
A Pilot gets on the loudspeaker the jet. He tells the passenger about their flight and tell them to relax and enjoy the trip but after he is done he forgets to turn off the microphone. He goes on and says to the co-pilot that he should take over because he is going to the bathroom cause he has to take a big dump and right after that he is gonna go screw the brains out of the hot blonde stewardess in coach. The Hot Blonde Stewardess hears this and proclaims "Oh My God!" and starts to run towards the front of the plane.
"Relax Honey" says an old lady passenger. "He has to take a dump first".
A little indian boy asks his father "Papa how did your father name you?"
"Well son my mother gave birth to me & my father came out of Tee Pee to see big black bear, so he named me Big Black Bear." The boy continued."So what of my two sisters names?"
"Well son your first sister was born & I went out of Tee Pee to see little white dove & I named her Little White Dove. Your second sister was born & I came out from Tee Pee to see a herd of deer grazing so I named her Grazing Deer. Why do you ask Two Dogs F*%king?
A burly Irishman is drinking in a bar. A tiny gay fellow sits beside him. After a few beers, the gay guy whispers, “Do you want a blow job?”
The gigantic man flips out, roars in anger, and tosses the little guy out of the bar, then returns to his stool.
The shocked bartender says, “I’ve never seen you react like that. What did that guy say?”
“Dunno. Something about a job.”
A professor was giving a lecture on “Involuntary Muscular Contractions” to his first year medical students. Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to give an example to which his students could relate.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, “Do you know what your a$$hole is doing while you’re having an orgasm?”
She replied, “He’s probably golfing with his friends.”