So i heard this joke..,.

Never heard THAT one before! 😱

Originally posted by riv6672
A doe walks slowly out of the woods and says,
"Thats the last time i do THAT for two bucks".

I like yours, better.
Got some epic groans when i told it!

A toothless termite walked into a tavern and said, "Is the bar tender here?"

What do you call an Buffalo Bill with a Super Bowl ring?
A thief.

If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner.
They're usually about 90degrees.

What do you call middle eastern gorilla fighters?
The Talibanana.

what's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says: ‘What the hell was THAT all about?’

there is a wish granting room down in new Orleans that may grant one reasonable wish as long as you make a true statement, if the statement you tell is false you disappear.

3 women are in line to test the room and its wish granting properties.

the first, a Red head, says " I think that I am the smartest woman in the world" then *POOF* she vanishes

the second woman enters the room, a Brunette, and says "I think that I am the prettiest woman in the world" then *POOF* she vanishes

the third woman, a blonde, walks into the room and says "I think..." then *POOF* she vanishes

Gotta love the classics! 😄

Women's rights

Women's equality is a joke.
Why would they ever want to come down to a man's level?

All men should make coffee for their women,
It says right in the bible 'HEBREWS'

haha!
I like that ine i will use that one.

The biggest beer producers in the world meet for a conference, and at the end of the day, the presidents of all the beer companies decide to have a drink together at a bar. The president of Budweiser naturally orders a Bud, the president of Miller orders a Miller, Adolph Coors orders a Coors, and so on down the list.

Then the bartender asks Arthur Guinness what he wants to drink, and to everybody's amazement, he orders tea! "Why don't you order a Guinness?" his colleagues ask suspiciously, wondering if they've stumbled on an embarrassing secret. "Naaaah," replies Guinness. "If you guys aren't going to drink beer, then neither will I."

An Irishman named O'Malley went to his doctor after a long illness.

The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked O'Malley in the eye, and said, "I've some bad news for you.
You have cancer, and it can't be cured. I'd give you two weeks to a month to live."

O'Malley was shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character. He managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room. There, he saw his son who had been waiting. O'Malley said, "Well son, we Irish
celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have cancer, and I've been given a short time to live. Let's head for the pub and have a few pints."

After three or four pints, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more beers. They were eventually approached by some of O'Malley's old friends who asked what the two were celebrating. O'Malley told them that the Irish celebrate the good and the bad. He went on to tell them that they were drinking to his impending end. He told
his friends, "I've only got a few weeks to live as I have been diagnosed with AIDS."

The friends gave O'Malley their condolences, and they had a couple more beers.

After his friends left, O'Malley's son leaned over and whispered his confusion. "Dad. I though you said that you were dying from cancer??? You just told your friends that you were dying from AIDS!"

O'Malley said, "I am dying of cancer, son. I just don't want any of them sleeping with your mother after I'm gone."

Harsh!