So i heard this joke..,.

I heard it this way (without the glue)

Difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish.

See i'd always heard it that way, too.

Q: How many Trump Administration officials does it take to screw in a
light bulb?
A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; it's amazing how well this light bulb works, it's tremendous how long it will last, trust me. Any reports of it's lack of incandescence are totally unfounded, and the result of fake news from the liberal media.

^^^i can hear that in his voice....😠 😂

Haha!

They needed to pee!

^^^My spouse just rolled her eyes at Batman, but i caught the giggles and cant stop, the more she looks at me!

A guy goes into a psychiatrists office with nothing but saran wrap on, the doctor says,"well I can clearly see your nuts"

^^^Ey yooooo!!!!

A black and white kid are bragging with their fathers on the street, the black kid goes, my dad just got a new car and it goes Honk Honk.
Where the white kid replies... Ye? My dad just got a new chainsaw and it goes, rhun rhun rhun niga niga niga

I just TOLD someone (a variation of) that joke yesterday, i swear! 😱

You're living rent free in my mind, bro. Pick it up once in a while would ya.

How many ants does it tale to rent a house?
Ten ants.

A man was driving along a country road when he saw a sign that read "Peaches, All Flavors, 1 Mile." After seeing this he thought to himself, "I gotta see this!" After driving for a mile he saw the stand and pulled off to investigate.

"Hi, I saw your sign and want to know how you can have peaches all flavors?"

"Well, sir, pick a flavor."

"OK, strawberry."

With that the man went to a barrel and pulled out a peach and gave it to the customer. The customer bit into it and it tasted like strawberries.

"That's amazing! It really tastes like strawberries. Can you do blueberry?"

With that the man went to a barrel and pulled out a peach and gave it to the customer. The customer bit into it and it tasted like blueberries.

"Here's a good one. Peanut butter and jelly."

The man went to a barrel and pulled out a peach and gave it to the customer. The customer bit into the peach and it tasted like peanut butter.

"Hey, I taste the peanut butter but where's the jelly?"

"Turn it around," replied the man.

The customer turned the peach around and bit into it and tasted jelly."

"OK, here's a hard one: pussy."

With that the man went to a barrel and pulled out a peach and gave it to the customer the customer bit into it and responded, "This tastes like sht!"

"Turn it around," replied the man.

Clever!!!!