Some free advice to you youngin's. If you are with a lady that you love, and she gets hit on by someone that you know you have NO chance whatsoever of defeating, try your best to calm things down.
If that does not work, have the dignity to get beaten up like a man.
There is nothing as pathetic as a man leaving his lady friend with some weirdo.
Originally posted by spetznaz
Some free advice to you youngin's. If you are with a lady that you love, and she gets hit on by someone that you know you have NO chance whatsoever of defeating, try your best to calm things down.If that does not work, have the dignity to get beaten up like a man.
There is nothing as pathetic as a man leaving his lady friend with some weirdo.
💃
Me, I'd pull an Amadeus Cho. We're in a restaurant, so I'd need to make the best use of my surroundings. Here's how it would go down:
First, I'd see he's built like a brick wall and there's no way I'm winning a physical brawl. Instead, I pretend to be upset and leave the booth/seat, storming off to the back of the..say, diner area. Now my girl knows I'm upset, and that's good. Wolverine, well, he probably doesn't even care.
Next, I order a banana and a banana split sundae. Also, I need a metal fork, and a bottle of Frank's Red Hot X-tra Hot Hot Sauce.
Now it's time to put the finishing touches on my Thanos-like master plan. Peeling the banana and lathering up whipped cream and melted ice cream on the underside of the peel so it's extra slippery, I drench the fork in the aforementioned hot sauce. Now, grabbing a napkin from the counter, I slowly walk back to my table. Dropping my sundae on purpose, I bend down to "clean it up," when in reality I'm placing the extra slippery banana peel underneath the napkin, in just the exact place I calculate he'll step. The fork's been in my back pocket until now, where I take it out and place it under my foot - making sure all of the sauce is still in place.
It's action time. I explode in a very public rage. How dare this bastard mess with my girlfriend!? I of course challenge him to a fight, which earns me the sympathy of everyone else in the restaurant. Logan's hot temper gets the better of him. He slides out of the booth and plants his feet to lunge at me.
"I'll rip you apart, bu--wha!?"
Steps on the napkin hiding the banana peel and goes down face first, unprepared to brace himself because of the dive. Now I'm able to shuffle my foot back slightly and step on the end of the fork, pointing it straight up to either pierce him through the eye if he doesn't turn his head - or more likely, his ear canal if he does turn his head.
Besides piercing his brain, the mixture of vinegar and cayenne pepper will overload his frontal lobe functions, making him unable to use his healing factor to heal the severe brain damage. He will either be a vegetable for the rest of his life, or bleed out in a matter of minutes from a rupture of one of the brain arteries.
This, obviously, makes me the winner. Now if I had had about 15 more minutes preptime, I could have used the industrial microwave in the kitchen area, rerouted the electromagnetic waves to his bioelectric readouts, polarized the molecules responsible for the X-gene mutation and absorb them via the microwave diffraction - thus giving me an ultra healing factor and leaving him a normal human with an adamantium skeleton.
Thanos and Darkseid take lessons from me.
DUDE,
THAT WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!
Originally posted by Enyalus
Me, I'd pull an Amadeus Cho. We're in a restaurant, so I'd need to make the best use of my surroundings. Here's how it would go down:First, I'd see he's built like a brick wall and there's no way I'm winning a physical brawl. Instead, I pretend to be upset and leave the booth/seat, storming off to the back of the..say, diner area. Now my girl knows I'm upset, and that's good. Wolverine, well, he probably doesn't even care.
Next, I order a banana and a banana split sundae. Also, I need a metal fork, and a bottle of Frank's Red Hot X-tra Hot Hot Sauce.
Now it's time to put the finishing touches on my Thanos-like master plan. Peeling the banana and lathering up whipped cream and melted ice cream on the underside of the peel so it's extra slippery, I drench the fork in the aforementioned hot sauce. Now, grabbing a napkin from the counter, I slowly walk back to my table. Dropping my sundae on purpose, I bend down to "clean it up," when in reality I'm placing the extra slippery banana peel underneath the napkin, in just the exact place I calculate he'll step. The fork's been in my back pocket until now, where I take it out and place it under my foot - making sure all of the sauce is still in place.
It's action time. I explode in a very public rage. How dare this bastard mess with my girlfriend!? I of course challenge him to a fight, which earns me the sympathy of everyone else in the restaurant. Logan's hot temper gets the better of him. He slides out of the booth and plants his feet to lunge at me.
"I'll rip you apart, bu--wha!?"
Steps on the napkin hiding the banana peel and goes down face first, unprepared to brace himself because of the dive. Now I'm able to shuffle my foot back slightly and step on the end of the fork, pointing it straight up to either pierce him through the eye if he doesn't turn his head - or more likely, his ear canal if he does turn his head.
Besides piercing his brain, the mixture of vinegar and cayenne pepper will overload his frontal lobe functions, making him unable to use his healing factor to heal the severe brain damage. He will either be a vegetable for the rest of his life, or bleed out in a matter of minutes from a rupture of one of the brain arteries.
This, obviously, makes me the winner. Now if I had had about 15 more minutes preptime, I could have used the industrial microwave in the kitchen area, rerouted the electromagnetic waves to his bioelectric readouts, polarized the molecules responsible for the X-gene mutation and absorb them via the microwave diffraction - thus giving me an ultra healing factor and leaving him a normal human with an adamantium skeleton.
Thanos and Darkseid take lessons from me.